


Shifting Sands

by ilithiyarys



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Army, Army Doctors, Canon Compliant, Doctors & Physicians, Explosions, F/M, Field Surgery, Original Character(s), Surgery, War, blood cw, blood tw, slight AU, the shondaland military medical drama spinoff that no one asked for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:32:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7115566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilithiyarys/pseuds/ilithiyarys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if April never got pregnant after the divorce? Feeling like there's nothing left for her at Grey-Sloan memorial, and definitely no reason to stay, April returns to the Army. Will it bring April & Jackson closer together or will it break them further apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She's Leaving Home... Again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April has something to tell Arizona after she signed Jackson's divorce papers.

**THE APARTMENT  
25 FEBRUARY 2016**

"I'm leaving, Arizona."

The blonde's eyes widen at the sudden declaration. "You're… you're re-enlisting to the Army? You're not serious, are you?" she paused to examine for friend's sullen face. She wasn't kidding. "My God, you're really doing it?"

"What else can I do, Arizona? Go back to Grey-Sloan? Work each and every single day like nothing ever happened? Lose my mind while my ex-husband and his mother torment me for running away and breaking his heart? Be in the same place where Samuel…" she was unable to finish what she was about to say, holding back tears at the memory of her son. She quickly recomposed herself and continued.

"I can't work at the same hospital with the man that shattered my heart. I thought we could work it out. I thought we could make it. I tried pushing, fighting to save it, but he's out, Arizona. He's gone. I can't take it. The longer I stick around, the more my heart breaks because I couldn't fix it. I couldn't fix us. And he didn't want to… Or try to. I can't stay here anymore. I need to start over. At least there I can save something and serve without worrying about a husband threatening divorce."

Arizona sighed at the last thing she said. April's saved multiple lives, but she understands the need to leave; to experience the thrill of surgery in the field. She understands why she has to go.

"When are you leaving?" Arizona frowned. April sadly looked away. "Tomorrow…"

The blonde's eyes widened. "What?! That's too soon, we won't even get a chance to set up some kind of good-bye party or say our goodbyes to you!"

"That's kind of the point, Ari. It wasn't a big deal the first time I left, why would it be any different now?"

"Uh, because you're leaving forever? Isn't that a reason enough?"

April sadly shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Arizona, but no. Not this time. I knew what I was getting into once Jackson served me those divorce papers. So I asked Hunt if I could start a new contract to work for the Army again, and he was able to pull some strings. He wanted to know when I'd leave, and I told him that once the divorce was finalized I would go. Then he gave me an option to return to Seattle after my contract expires, and I declined. I'd be going back home to Moline to hang out with my family before going back. The only reason for me to come back to Seattle would be to update and debrief Owen. But that's it. I've signed the apartment over to Jackson and I'll be leaving cheques for bills. So I'm leaving Seattle for good."

Arizona fights back her tears, reaching out to hug the woman. "I'm gonna miss you so much." April reciprocates the hug. "I'll miss you too. You've been my closest and best friend since this whole thing started. I'm gonna miss seeing perky Dr. Robbins keeping me up to date with the latest hospital gossip."

The blonde lets out a teary laugh before resting her chin on April's shoulder.

"Don't you die out there. It's a dangerous place, April."

"I know."

"Promise you'll call me?"

"I promise."

The blonde sighed. She would miss her, but she respected April's decision.

Hours later, Arizona realized what time it was.

"Crap, it's getting late. I've got a consult at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow that I'd really don't want to do to because my best friend is leaving forever." She lets a few tears fall before taking April into her embrace again. The redhead was unable to produce any words. With Arizona having to leave, the reality began to set in. This was it. They stood together for a couple minutes before Arizona gently broke from their embrace, reaching for April's hands.

"Well, Doctor Kepner, it was an honor to know you, be friends with you, and work by your side. I'm wishing you the best for your new life and journey. I'm really going to miss you, Apes."

"I'll miss you too, Ari."

"Take care of yourself out there, alright? And you call me as often as you can. And keep yourself safe. Don't die out there. Otherwise I'll come over there and kick your ass myself."

April laughed. "I promise. You take care of yourself too. Love you, Ari."

"Love you too. I guess I'll see you when I see you, kiddo."

With that, she walked out the door. But to April, it felt like the blonde just walked out of her life. She forced back her tears, feeling like a part of her died. Arizona was the only one that stood by her side. And in return, she stood by hers. They had each other's backs. She was overwhelmed by the sudden realization that this was it. She would be leaving forever.

Minutes later, she composed herself enough to get up off the floor and into the bedroom. She grabbed a couple pieces of paper and began writing. Despite her broken heart, she still needed to send one final message to Jackson. To give him the closure he needed. To apologize for her selfishness. Hours later, the final product was nearly two pages full, with her dried tears scattered across the paper. She left the letter on the desk for Jackson to find when he comes over to claim the apartment.

 

* * *

**SEATAC INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT  
26 FEBRUARY 2016**

  
The next morning came all too quickly, and April found herself in the middle of the airport, packed and ready to go. Owen jogged over to her, dressed in full uniform.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

April nods. "Ready as I'll ever be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an idea that was floating in my head. I love the idea of Army!April, and wanted to focus more about her life overseas; what she does, how she develops as a person, how she survives without the safety back in Seattle. So this focuses more about April's life post-divorce, and if she'd never gotten pregnant. Also, I'm not that great at writing GA characters and I'm not like a die-hard fan that's watched every episode, but I do love this show, and its characters. Thought I'd give it a shot. As for technicalities that revolve around medicine & army stuff, I'm not very well versed. Just basic research here and there so I apologize in advance! I'll try my best.


	2. Goodbye, Jackson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson receives April's letter

**THE APARTMENT  
26 FEBRUARY 2016**

Jackson knocked on the apartment door. Seeing that no one was home, he used his key to enter.

"April?" he called out. There was no answer.

No one was home. He noticed that the apartment had been cleared out. _Already found another place?_

The apartment was part of their settlement, that Jackson would be the rightful owner, but they'd agreed that April could continue living in it. Seeing as the apartment was empty, he assumed that she'd found a different place.

He made his way into the bedroom, where he found a brown manila envelope with his name on it. He reached for it, finding a two-page letter. It had her handwriting on it.

 

* * *

 

_Jackson,_

_I don't know what to say. I hate that I'm having to write a letter to you instead of telling you face-to-face, but after recent events, I don't think I could ever look you in the eyes again._

_I'm not mad at you. I deserved what was coming to me. But I can't stand face-to-face with the man who's heart I trampled on. I know you're still angry at me, and will probably never forgive me. I can't forgive myself either. I hate myself for doing what I did to you. For running. From you. From us. From myself. I can never forgive myself for what happened to our child._

_When Samuel died, I died. Not just a piece of me, but a physical part of me died. My soul. My joy. My peace. My happiness. Everything I've always wanted, gone. And it's not that you didn't make me happy, Jackson, because you've always made me happy. You were the light of my life. My everything. But I carried Samuel for nine months. In my body. Nine months of a frail little baby, our baby, and he was suffering in my own womb. I failed our boy. I didn't protect him enough. I couldn't protect him from what was happening to him. I failed him as a mother. I failed you._

_I guess I should probably get to the point of why I'm writing this letter to you, so here it goes._

_I've re-enlisted to the Army. And I know you're gonna hate me for doing this again, for running again, but this time I really don't have a reason to stay. I'm exhausted, Jackson. I am physically and emotionally drained. I have nothing left. I tried to fight for us, for the both of us, but it wasn't enough. I know it's my fault, and I can't live with what I've done. Not in Seattle. Not with you._ _I tried to believe that with everything that we've been through, that maybe we could make it. But I realize now that it's just too much for me or you to handle. The damage has already been done. I can't fix what's been broken. There's nothing left to fix. I've got no reason to stay here. Hate me all you want for throwing myself into this again, but I need to do something. I can't stay at the same hospital where I fell in love with my best friend. I can't stay at the same hospital where that best friend turned into a husband. I can't stay at the same hospital where my child suffered and died in my arms. I can't stay at the same hospital where that husband turned into an ex-husband. I just can't do it anymore._

_I won't be coming home, Jackson. You were my home. Now I have no home. No reason to stay. I thought on the off-chance that maybe, just maybe, because our marriage didn't work didn't mean that our friendship couldn't. That maybe I should stay on the hope of just remaining friends with you. But I can't, because every time I look at you, I see history. So much history. When I look at you, I see the man who's heart I broke into a million pieces. I see the parts of Samuel that had your features. I see an incredible father that could've been. I see a future that could've been. I see a failed marriage. And I feel like a complete, utter failure._

_You don't need me anymore. I know this because if you did, none of this would be happening. You don't need me. There's nothing left for me here. The damage I've caused is irreparable, and there's no coming back from that. I'm sorry for all the pain and hurt I've caused you. I know "sorry" will never be enough, but I truly am. I'm sorry I couldn't be the wife you've always wanted. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry that I ran. From myself, from us, from you. I'm sorry that I left you behind to suffer. I'm sorry I caused you to suffer. It breaks my heart knowing I'm the source of your pain, but I don't want you to suffer anymore because of me, so I hope you understand why I have to do this; why I'm leaving for good. You deserve so much better than I. I couldn't save our marriage, but at least now I'll be able to save some lives for this country._

_By the time you get this letter I'll be shipping out to Syria. I don't know where I'll be stationed, I don't know if the situation over there right now is neutral or bad. But I do know that I need to do this to try and heal every wound. To get over what happened between us. To get over you, even though I may never be able to do that. This is the only thing I can pour everything I have left into. This is my decision and all I can hope is that you respect that._

_I hope you find someone incredible that can give you the life, the family, the home, the attention, love, and devotion; everything I could never give you. I know you'll probably never forgive me for what I did. I've made peace with that. But know that I love you, and I always will. You'll always be my best friend, my knight in shining armor, my calm in the storm, my forever._

_I wish you nothing but the best._

_The rest of the envelope's contents contains final cheques for rent, my portion of our last joint cellphone bill, car insurance, dental, and my will. I know we're divorced, but there's no one else I'd rather write my will out to._

_Goodbye, Jackson._

 

_April._

 

* * *

 

He stood in shock. He couldn't process the information held out before him. She's leaving? She's gone? A rush of emotions flooded through his body.

He was angry. He was sad. He was hurt. He was upset.

The divorcee slid down the side of the bed down to the floor, flipping the pages, reading her letter over and over again.

Jackson didn't realize that tears were streaming down his face. Was this really happening? Did he cause her to go on some suicide mission? Is she really gone? Just like that? He flipped the pages to see if she'd written anything else. There was nothing. All he knew was that she wrote this after their divorce had been finalized.

That was only yesterday.

All of it was coming at him at once. _April's Will. Home. Army. Not coming back_. A portion of the letter stood out to him: _There's nothing left for me here_.

Part of him wanted to scream. He wanted to yell. He was upset.

_Of course there's something for you here, me!_

But a red flag waved around in his head. He wanted the divorce. He made her feel that way. He read it again and again.

_My God, she's going to get herself killed. Shit! April! Just cause our marriage didn't work, didn't mean that I didn't care for you!_

He let out a quiet sob. Jackson couldn't believe this was happening. She was giving up her life here; A safe, peaceful life, with a good job, at an actual hospital. She was giving all of that up for a tiny field hospital in the middle of a warzone, God knows where.

_Warzone._

Jackson pondered the word. It probably would've been no different if she stayed, working with an ex-husband.

"Jesus, April…" he quietly sobs, reading her letter again. 

 

* * *

 

**TURKISH-SYRIAN BORDER, 2100 HOURS  
** **26 FEBRUARY 2016**

**  
**Owen and April arrived at a small military airport along the Turkish-Syrian border. It wasn't safe enough to land in Syria, so they would be driving to their station.  A familiar face, US Army Staff Sergeant Garrett Edwards, greeted the duo, holding out a hand to shake.

"Welcome back, Major Hunt; Captain Kepner. Pleasure to have you back in our ranks."

"The pleasure is ours, Commander. Where will we be stationed?" Owen asked, as they walked over to the convoy.

"Aleppo. It's bad out there. Rebels have taken over and are making a stand against the Russian forces. Hundreds of casualties. More than a dozen wounded, civilians included, so we'll need all the help we can get."

As they entered the hummer, April remained silent as the Commander was explaining everything. Owen gently nudged her in the shoulder.

"You okay Keps?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to readjust after the flight. Haven't been on a plane in a while."

"No worries. Just rest. We need you at your A-game tomorrow."

"Will do sir."

Owen nodded, rubbing his thumb over her chin. He was proud of her and how far she's come. For her passion for trauma medicine. For enduring such a difficult marriage. For having her heart broken again, and again, and again. For making a huge decision like this; to serve her country at this capacity. It wasn't easy to give up a nice, safe life back home for a war-torn country. But this is what she wanted. He respected her for that, and promised do everything he can to keep her safe.

"I've got your back."


	3. This Ain't No Regular Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's day one for April working in Syria and things are already hectic. Among the chaos, she meets a new doctor.

**ALEPPO, SYRIA 0700 HOURS  
27 FEBRUARY 2016**

It was only seven in the morning and the Aleppo field hospital was already swamped with patients from a rebel attack that happened not too long ago. Civilians, civilian relief workers, and soldiers alike had been admitted to the trauma bay, waiting to be treated. The ones who got the worst of it were given priority care.

April and Owen ran the trauma bay. The situation in Aleppo made it a little difficult for people to work; there were those who would risk their lives to work in Syria, and there were those who weren't as brave. They were short staffed, and the ER saw a massive influx of patients.

Normally, something like this would've given April the "first day on the job " jitters, but today there was something different about her; a newfound confidence. She ordered the medics, nurses, and civilian doctors on where to go, what to do and how to do it. Owen noticed this.

"Already owning the trauma bay, huh Kepner?" he chuckled, trying to brighten up the atmosphere. She let out a little laugh before attending to a little boy's arm.

"This is what I've missed, Hunt. The thrill. The rush. I needed this. Hunt nodded before going back to deal with his patients. Moments later, a man commented on April's statement.

"Sounds like you're dealing with whatever you're dealing with very nicely," April turned around, standing face-to-face with a rather large but attractive man. Huge build, strong but soft features. She saw his Army uniform, Australian accent. He introduced himself before she could say anything.

"I'm sorry, I should probably introduce myself," he chuckled. "Major Harrison Walker, Australian Army. I'm a doctor too."

The redhead flashed a small smile, quickly responding. "April Kepner, nice to meet you."

Major Walker smiled. "Likewise."

For a moment April couldn't understand why this man was talking to her, but somewhat enjoyed his company. Other than Owen, she had no friends. Breaking the silence, she continued the conversation, genuinely curious about the Australian beefcake.

"So, you're a doctor. What's your specialty?"

Harrison chuckled. "You might laugh."

April flashed a tiny grin, shaking her head. "I'm a nice person, I won't judge."

He raised a doubtful brow. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." She assured.

He shrugged his shoulders, already anticipating the response. "Psychiatry."

April tightened her lips, trying not to laugh. How could a two-hundred pound man be doing the lamest discipline?

Harrison's brow creased."You're judging me!"

"Am not, Psychiatry is a noble discipline. It's just… Your physique is very deceiving."

He playfully gasped. "What? Am I getting soft? Aw geez, don't tell me I'm getting fat."

"No! No, no, it's not that," April laughed. "I thought you might be a surgeon or something."

Harrison let out a smile. "Oh no, despite looking like this, I can't stand blood. So I guess it was a smart idea joining the Army," he awkwardly chuckled. April could tell there was something he wasn't quite telling her, but she kept to herself. It was something for another day.

"Tell me about it. Anyway, what brings you to the trauma bay at a time like this?"

"Well, I was on my way to grabbing a coffee and heading to my office when I noticed a new lovely redhead kicking ass in the trauma centre and had to introduce myself. Haven't seen someone work as hard as you do around here for a while."

April giggled, trying to hide that she was blushing. "Well, I'm flattered. Maybe a little flustered because I'm exhausted and new here, but I'm flattered."

He laughed. "I can see that."

The trauma surgeon tried to shake it off. "How about I make you a deal, Major Walker,"

Harrison interrupted. "Harri. Call me Harri."

"Okay, Harri. Here's how it will go. I'm busy dealing with this lovely little guy right now, but because it's my first day here and I haven't made any friends yet and you seem to be really nice, how about we do lunch later and get to know each other so I can determine if you're as sweet as you look and sound or if you're just another jerk that's trying to get into my pants."

He gestured a playful hurt look. "Deal. But I'll tell you right now, I don't want to get into your pants." There was a short pause. "Well, I mean, not right away." he grinned.

April slapped him in the arm.

"Ow! I was kidding!"

"I thought you were supposed to be tough," she teased.

He quickly shot back, grinning. "I am, Australian Army. Duh."

The redhead playfully rolled her eyes. "Right. Well, see you later, Harri. Would hate if I missed lunch because a stranger took too long introducing himself while I was with a patient."

"Touche, lil red. See you later."

 _Lil Red. Not bad._  She's had worse nicknames. With that, he walked away. April hadn't realized that Owen heard the entire interaction.

"What was that?" he teased.

April rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Hunt."

"Mhm."


	4. ... And This Ain't No Regular Procedure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April is sent out to the field to tend to an injured soldier. Meanwhile, at Grey-Sloan, a rumour about Dr. Kepner has been spreading like wildfire. Can the doctors keep it under control?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight disclaimer, I'm 100% sure there's a TON of inaccuracies regarding trauma field medical procedures and Army ranking/protocols and stuff so please take it easy. Again, I'm no expert, just trying to make and keep the story interesting. That being said, I do hope you enjoy the chapter.

**SIX MONTHS LATER**  
**ALEPPO, SYRIA 0900 HOURS**  
**27 AUGUST 2016**

It'd been a hectic morning in the trauma bay. In the span of about two hours since her shift started she'd seen about eighteen patients, treating minor injuries here and there. Her first major case called for her to go out to tend to an injured soldier involved in a bombing.

Her medical unit today consisted of US Army medic Captain Simon Davenport, British Armed Forces Medical Technician Major Rachel Hobbs, and US Airman J.C. Whitely.

Captain Davenport had already arrived at the site, attending to the soldiers' wounds. However, there was one soldier that needed April's immediate medical expertise.

She boarded the medical chopper, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to see. In the six months of her tour, she's only been out in the field twice; once for a supply run, and another to visit a women's clinic. Other than that, she hasn't had the chance to see a trauma in action.

Not until today.

Fifteen minutes later, they'd arrived at their destination.

The medics reported that there had been an IED explosion, injuring a unit of four US soldiers, killing one of them. The site had been cleared for them to head out and help. As the chopper landed, April and Major Hobbs immediately rushed out the door, running to the destroyed hummer.

"Captain Kepner! Over here!" Captain Davenport waved. April quickly ran over to the medic, who had been taking care of the solider still inside the vehicle.

April's eyes widened. "Oh, wow."

It definitely wasn't the craziest trauma case she's seen, but it did make the list.

The medic smiled wryly. "I know. Meet Sergeant Andrew Scott, 32, with penetrating abdominal injuries."

"Hi," the Army Sergeant quietly greeted, awkwardly smiling at April.

Captain Davenport continued his report. "As you can see, he's got a metal pole sticking through his abdomen, through the seat. Has been conscious since the blast. I've been trying to stem the blood flow."

She nodded, noticing the blood soaking through the soldier's uniform, through Captain Davenport's fingers.

"What happened, exactly?" the redhead asked, quickly flashing her flashlight at the sergeant's eyes, assessing him for head trauma and brain damage. The medical technician filled her in as she worked.

"Damn suicide bomber hit our guys on patrol. One didn't make it," he paused, as April shook her head. "Damn it."

He continued on. "The other two are fine; superficial cuts and bruises and a little internal bleeding. We've already sent a unit to take care of them, but this guy took the worst of it, obviously still stuck in the vehicle. Not quite sure how we'll get him out without him bleeding out on us."

April continued her assessment, making eye contact with the Sergeant. "Sergeant Scott, my name is Captain April Kepner. You've got a nasty penetrating injury, and I believe it's torn your renal artery. But don't worry, we'll do everything we can for to take care of you. You're in good hands."

"Thank you, Captain," he breathed. There was a hint of sadness in his voice; he'd lost one of his comrades today. The redhead nodded, making a silent promise that no one else would be dying today. "Major, let's get his uniform and gear off. I need to see the wound."

Major Hobbs nodded. "Yes, Captain." She began cutting though the Sergeant's Kevlar vest. The one thing about Kevlar was that it was good for protecting against bullets; not so much against sharp objects. It was strange how it worked, but the Senior Medical Technician managed to get through and removed the vest. April immediately began cutting through the Sergeant's uniform to see the wound.

The pole was sticking right through the middle of his abdomen. Not quite where the heart was, but close enough.

"Crap, this is bad." she mumbled under her breath, thinking of her options.

April closed her eyes, going back to Hunt's army training. She let out a prolonged breath, looking at Captain Davenport and Major Hobbs. "Okay, get me every bag of saline you can gather, get some empty bags, tubes, a scalpel and a clamp. I'm gonna take the pole out, do a DPL. 

Major Hobbs, being a senior medical technician having seen hundreds of traumas similar to this, protested. "What? No, he'll bleed out in seconds. Wait for our backup to cut him out of here." 

She ignored her suggestions, placing an oxygen mask over the Sergeant's face. "Major Hobbs, Sergeant Scott doesn't have a lot of time. If we wait around and don't do anything, he'll bleed out and die. I'd prefer him to live another day. He is my patient, and I know what I'm doing. So trust me." April paused before speaking up again. "Captain, grab those bags. Major, support his head." She said, circling behind where the Sergeant was stuck. April examined the pole sticking through the seat.

Blood dripped down the pole penetrating the seat. It hadn't gone as deep as she thought, however, she would have to pull it out from the front. She quickly moved to the driver's seat, kicking the windshield off the vehicle. After doing so, she ran back to the soldier's side.

The redhead steadied herself before placing her hands on the pole.

"I'm sorry Sergeant, but this is gonna hurt." She apologized, before making eye contact with both the Major and Captain, giving them a nod to get into their positions. "Okay, on three. One, two, three."

She slowly pulled the protruding object out of his body, causing the solider to scream out in pain. 

"He's going to bleed out!" Davenport hissed.

April remained calm. "No, he's not, because I'm going to clamp the artery. Once I've done that, Captain, we're going to use his own blood to transfuse back into him, so start a line." she ordered, nodding at the Major. "Quickly,"

The redhead quickly connected the tubes with the saline bag, preparing it to collect the soldier's blood. "You hang in there, soldier, you're not going anywhere. Keep breathing."

She handed the bag over to Major Hobbs to hold. The two medics looked on, astonished. It wasn't the first time the'd seen a procedure like this done before, but only truly gutsy doctors would make such a risky move.

Captain Kepner was certainly one of them.

April grabbed the scalpel, cutting into the soldier's abdomen. She quickly placed the tube in the incision, watching as the blood quickly traveled through the tube and into the bag. "As soon as that fills up, put it back into him. When it empties out, you do it again, and keep doing it in a cycle until we get him to the hospital. Understand me?"

"Yes, Captain Kepner." they both obliged.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" Major Hobbs asked.

"Jordan." She remembered the time when she had to do this to a young woman involved in an MVC. It was her first time in the field. Unfortunately, the young woman didn't make it due to infection. April was sure that would be the last time she'd ever attempt something as risky as that again.

Life had a strange way of telling her not to give up so easily.

She shook off the memory, coming back to her senses. "Okay, I'm going to stabilize his head. As soon as I get that C-collar on him, I want him out of here." She said, working on the Sergeant. She'd gotten quite good at this. "Airman Whitely, send a message to Chief Alexander. We're done here and we're on our way. Tell them to prep trauma four and get Lieutenant Colonel Morgan and Major Smith on standby."

The Airman nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

 

* * *

 

**GREY-SLOAN MEMORIAL, 2300 HOURS  
**

Arizona was just about to finish her night shift observing the NICU when Meredith popped by. Startled by the sound of Meredith leaning against the doorframe, she turned around. "Grey? What brings you to the NICU at this hour?"

The brunette shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing, just wanted to take a look at all these cute little babies."

Arizona creased her brows. "Okay, spill it Grey. What do you want?"

Meredith took a moment to exhale before speaking up. "It's Kepner. I know she's not coming back, but do you have anything on her? Have you talked to her lately? I need something."

The blonde was surprised. "Why in the world do you need to know about April? She's gone and she's not coming back. What more could you want?"

Meredith stepped closer, sighing. "There's a rumour going around that she's been KIA. I wanna know if that's true."

Now Arizona was confused. "April Kepner, 'Killed In Action?' That's funny, who was the ghost I was talking to this afternoon then?" The blonde let out a grim chuckle, showing Meredith her FaceTime history. Sure enough, Kepner's temporary contact ID was there. Meredith's brow creased to the new information.

"Who would've started that rumour then?" Meredith asked. Arizona shrugged her shoulders, crossing her arms.

"No idea," the blonde added. Meredith nodded, as the Paediatric surgeon before tending to the baby in the incubator.

Meredith had a gut feeling about what was going on. She knew deep down, Mama Avery had to be behind it somehow. Who else would've started such a rumour?

She walked away from the NICU, contemplating what to do. 

 

* * *

 

**ALEPPO, SYRIA 2100 HOURS**

**  
** April nonchalantly walked toward the Chief's office, exhausted from the day's events. Her body was aching, and stiff. She wanted nothing more than to just lay down on a couch and drift into a deep, deep sleep.

It had been a long, but good day; she'd spent nearly eight hours working on Sergeant Scott, salvaging and repairing the damage that had been done. After the successful surgery, she'd collected twenty bucks from Major Smith on a bet on who would get the craziest case first that morning. With a metal pole sticking out of a conscious soldier's body, she knew she'd definitely won that bet. To top everything off, a familiar face had come to visit at the end of the day, and was contracted to work for a couple months. 

 

_"No way," she mumbled under her breath. "Is that?"_

_She squinted a little harder at the man walking toward her. It was him._

_"Hey Keps,"_

_Nathan Riggs._

_She laughed, opening her arms up to hug him. It'd been six months since they'd last seen each other._

_"Hope you haven't had too much fun without me," he joked. April laughed, nudging him in the shoulder. "Of course not, I've been stuck here missin' your pretty face. What are you doing here?" she curiously asks._

_Nathan shrugged his shoulders before answering. "Well, I was getting a little bored at Grey-Sloan. Not much happening. Things still tense with Owen and I. Meredith and her army of sisters giving me a little side eye every now and then. You know, the usual."_

_The redhead chuckled. "Aw, wittle baby Riggs having it rough over there?"_

_He crossed his arms, grinning. "Shut up, Keps. I know you've missed me."_

_"That, we can agree on."_

_After a moment of silence, he spoke up once more. "How are you, April? And I mean, really. How are you doing?"_

_"I'm doing well. I mean, I've been good. Made a couple friends already, so that's good. Decided to take the BOLC, just for the heck of it. And work's been hectic, but what else can you expect in a war-torn country?"_

_He chuckled. "God, I've missed you and your clean-cut humour. So you did the BOLC? How was that?"_

_April shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, it wasn't bad. Did the training. Who knew I'd do more exercise in the span of two months than I have my entire life?"_

_She paused a moment as Nathan laughed. She smiled, continuing. "Field training was cool, and the single hardest thing I have ever had to do ever. But other than that, the classes were great. On site training was great. Except for the part where I had to ding dong ditch a week before the program finished because we were short on hands up here. So I have no clue if I passed or not. And I probably didn't, but that's fine. The experience was great. That's all that matters, right?"_

_Riggs simply nodded his head. April quickly changed the subject. "So you're staying here? For how long?"_

_"Six months. Which is great cause I hear Major Smith is stationed here as well…"_

_She displayed a playful look of disgust. "Oh, God, Nathan!" she said, slapping him in the arm. He quickly retreated, rubbing his bicep. "I'm kidding! Gosh. I was just complimenting the 'Strayan beauty."_

_April rolled her eyes. "Okay, I've heard enough." Riggs chuckled. "I'm kidding, Keps, relax."_

_"So you're really here for six months, huh?"_

_"You know it."_

_"That's good. It'll be nice having a friend from h-" she hesitated on the word home, but he immediately noticed. She quickly recovered. "-a familiar face."_

_"I could say the same thing."_

 

The redhead caught herself smiling about the day's events and the end of the day's unexpected surprise.

She made her way to the Chief's office. She'd been called down for something important. 

April straightened herself out before entering through the door. She saluted her superior.

"Lieutenant Colonel Alexander," she addressed.

"At ease, Captain. Please, take a seat." he offered.

Lieutenant Colonel Christian Alexander was the Chief of Surgery, running the hospital day and night. He was young for his ranking, but was well-respected nonetheless. He's a brilliant mind, and excellent neurosurgeon. April could almost make a comparison between the Lieutenant Colonel and Derek Shepherd in terms of leadership and medical discipline, but aside from that, they were nothing alike.

The Chief continued on. "Are you aware that you've reached the six month mark of your tour?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I understand that you've expressed your wish to extend your tour without leave. May I ask why?"

She slightly shifted in her seat. "I have no reason to go stateside, Sir. I'd rather be working here, helping out and saving lives."

He nodded. "Understood. Do you know why you're here, Captain?"

"I have an idea, Sir." she answered, thinking about the leadership course she'd just spoken to with Riggs about. She had gone back to the States a couple months ago to complete the course, in order for her to officially be in charge of trauma at the hospital. However, she was unsure if she'd passed it; she was forced to leave a week early prior to completing the course due to the lack of staff at the hospital. She flew back to Syria to help, with the awful sense that she'd wasted a month and a half for a course she didn't get to finish.

"Excellent." said the Lieutenant Colonel, pulling out an envelope from his desk. He passed it over to April. She slightly hesitated, nervous about what the letter might be about.

"Come on now, open it." he smiled. She nodded, opening the neatly encased envelope. The redhead's eyes widened, surprised at the document she held out before her.

"Captain Kepner, I am pleased to inform you that you've passed the Basic Officer Leadership Course. Major Hunt, along with several of your Commanding Officers have spoken very highly of you, recommending you for your determination, tenacity and natural leadership in the hospital and out there in the field. Despite your course incompletion, we have recognized your incredible efforts as a US Army Trauma Surgeon, especially after today's events for saving Sergeant Scott's life by unconventional means." He paused a moment for her to process the information he'd just dropped on her. "You continually show promise, dedication, and heart to saving lives. So without further ado, I am pleased and honoured to announce that you've been promoted from Captain to Major."

The Chief smiled, handing her another envelope, and a box containing a service-issued sidearm, dog tags, and an official US Army MEDCOM shoulder patch.

"Congratulations, Major Kepner."

Filled with excitement and joy, she saluted her superior once more. "I won't let you down, Sir. Thank you."

"Have a good evening, Major. You're dismissed. I expect to see you tomorrow morning wearing that on your uniform. Wear it proudly, Major."

"Will do, Sir. Thank you."

It was a great day indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On April holding the rank of Captain: it's canon. Because of her decision to join the US army as a trauma surgeon in Jordan, she'd been given a special commission, starting at a higher rank, therefore receiving the rank of "Captain"
> 
> That being said, I have no idea on what the correct protocols are for promoting army doctors. I've seen other shows with doctors (some nurses) in their respective branches, with ranks of Captain, Major, Colonel, Sergeant-Major, Lieutenant Colonel, Sergeants, etc. But assuming that April went on ahead to take a course to enhance her leadership for trauma, you'd also assume that completion of the course would result in some kind of promotion in order for her to lead a unit, no less a medical unit haha. At least that's what I picture in my head haha. Please don't take it too personally, it's just for the sake of the story.
> 
> Also, Seattle is ten hours behind Aleppo, so I apologize if the different times have been giving you a headache (it's been giving me headaches too, don't worry)


	5. And The Walls Came Crashing Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rumour about April reaches its target, causing Jackson to contemplate his life's events. Meanwhile, in Syria, April & Riggs are up to some late night shenanigans.

**GREY-SLOAN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL, 1100 HOURS  
28 AUGUST 2016**

Jackson came sprinting down the halls, looking for no one in particular; just someone who could tell him what the hell was going on.

He'd overheard something that he hoped to God, wasn't true.

Jackson could've sworn his heart was beating out of his chest.

Making his way to the ER, he found Meredith and her 'sister squad' around the administration desk, going over charts and chatting. He nearly collided with the three women before catching himself.

"Woah, Jackson, what the hell?" Meredith exclaimed. Jackson took a few moments to calm himself down.

"Sorry, I… I needed to ask you something. I didn't know if it's true or not,"

Her brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"April, Mer! Is it true?" He asked, tears threatening to well up at the thought.

Meredith's eyes widened, thinking about the thing she'd asked Robbins about last night. "Oh, God, no. It's not true Jackson, just take a breather. Apparently Robbins talked to her the other night, she's just fine."

He felt the sudden weight lift off his chest, and he could breathe. However, he was disappointed someone would've said such a thing, let alone let a rumour about his ex-wife spread around. Despite them being divorced, he still cared about her.

"Then who would've started that rumour? That April was killed in action?"

The general surgeon shook her head, also distraught about the rumour. "We're still trying to figure that out, Avery. Don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of it."

 

* * *

 

**ALEPPO, SYRIA 2000 HOURS**

She had her sight set on the target. She slowly inhaled, calming herself down before placing her finger on the trigger.

 _You got this, Kepner,_ she thought to herself. April was about to pull the trigger when Nathan decided to screw with her, and her one chance of hitting the cupcake square and centre.

April groaned. "Damn it, Riggs, I had it!"

The brunette doctor couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. "Hey, this is the real world, ain't gonna come easy Keps. Things come at you unexpectedly, you need to be prepared,"

She waved her one arm around. "You don't distract people in the real world for fits and giggles, Riggs!"

He snorted. "Well, that sucks. Looks like you owe me twenty bucks!"

The redhead clenched her jaw. "I don't wanna _owe_  you twenty bucks!" she grumbled through her teeth, punching him in the arm.

"Ow!" Nathan retreated, holding his bicep where she'd punched him. For such a tiny woman, she packed one hell of a punch.

April emptied the chamber, popping the shell casing out. "I get another try."

"Okay, fine." He said, crossing his arms. The trauma surgeon raised a skeptical brow. "Distract me again and I will shoot you instead of that cupcake."

Nathan chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. "White flag is up, Keps."

She arched a brow, cocking her gun. "Mhm."

 

* * *

 

**GREY-SLOAN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL, 1900 HOURS**

"Dude," 

No response.

"Dude?"

Again, no response.

Alex snapped his fingers in front of the plastic surgeon's face. "Earth to Avery?"

Jackson slowly came out of his daze, lifting his elbow off the admin's desk.

"What do you want, Karev?"

Alex scoffed, taking a bite out of his apple. "Dude, you've been sporting that deer-in-headlights look for about ten minutes now. What's up with you?"

_Everything, Karev. Jesus._

"Nothing, go away Alex." Jackson insisted, crossing his arms.

"Hell no, I've got nothing better to do. Plus, you look annoyed, which makes everything even better." At this point, the peds surgeon was amused as to why Avery had his panties in a bunch. 

He was getting annoyed. "Karev, get back to work," Jackson instructed. Alex scoffed. "My shift's over, dumbass. Now will you tell me what's really going on?"

The peds surgeon caught him staring off into the ER again. He quickly caught onto what was happening.

"Oh I see what's going on here. Let me guess, two things: one, the rumour about Kepner, and two, you don't like that new Trauma Attending. Cause she's not April."

Jackson rolled his eyes, ignoring him.

The brunette grinned. He knew Avery didn't have the balls to admit he still had it in for Kepner, especially after today's events. He'd nearly tore a patient's arm off hearing the rumour that April was killed.

"I knew it."

Jackson turned around, threatening his friend. "Dude, run before I kick your ass."

"Whatever," he shrugged, leaving Jackson alone.

Karev wasn't wrong. After today's wild ride of events, he wasn't sure how to feel at the moment. No matter how hard he tried to move on and get over her, everything in the hospital brought it all back, despite the fact she's been gone for six months.

He eyed the new trauma attending working in the ER.

Since April's absence, he'd been forced to hire a new trauma attending to fill her spot. How she happened to be a redhead that specialized in trauma? He would never know. All he knew was that she was a good fit for the trauma team. She wasn't as gentle or perky or sensitive like April, but she was good. It was probably better that she wasn't completely like April, or he probably would've lost his mind.

Jackson exhaled before making his way back to his office to finish some paperwork.

He couldn't quite focus, as his mind was completely somewhere else. 

 _Six months and I'm still thinking about her. What the hell's wrong with you, Avery?_ His conscience argued.

Several minutes passed, and he'd gotten nowhere with his paperwork. He couldn't focus. And no matter how hard he tried to stop thinking about her, his thoughts would come right back circling to her.

_Damn it._

Frustrated, he dropped the pen on top of the papers, grabbed his bag and left his office.

 _I'll just finish those tomorrow. I'm done for the day._  

He passed by the NICU, seeing Arizona still checking over the babies. It hurt him every time he passed by the NICU; hearing babies cry, seeing parents hold their children for the very first time. All he could think about was Samuel. It reminded him of the life Samuel could've had. _Should've_ had. But it was cut short. And it crushed his heart, knowing that he was a parent that outlived his child.

Knowing that his child's death drove them apart.

Knowing that it caused both him and April a world of incredible pain and hurt over their loss.

Knowing that it caused his marriage to crumble.

Knowing that it cost them their relationship. Their friendship.

Knowing that it caused his best friend to run away for the last time, probably to get herself killed in a war-torn country with God knows what kind of rebels and insurgents surrounding whatever city she was in…

_I'm thinking about her again._

It always came back to her.

Arizona noticed Jackson awkwardly standing outside, looking through the windows not looking at any babies in particular. But she knew he had a tough time coming up to this part of the hospital, let alone standing in it.

"Avery," she called, though she knew what he was probably thinking about. "What's up?"

He clenched his jaw, holding back his emotions thinking about Samuel and April. 

"I'm… I don't know. Heard something today that nearly made my heart stop," he said, trying to make small talk.

"The rumour about April?" Arizona asked.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah." 

"Did they find out who started it? How do you feel about it?"

He shook his head, leaning against the glass. "No, and I don't know… I… I mean, I shouldn't be as worried as I was today, but my heart nearly stopped the moment I overheard the nurses' conversation. I ran around trying to find Owen or you to confirm, but I saw Meredith first and asked her. She talked to you yesterday?" 

The blonde nodded. "She did, yeah. But Kepner's fine, we FaceTimed each other the other day." 

"I know, I heard. And it's good and all…" 

"But?" she prompted. 

Jackson sighed. "I don't know why I'm still feeling like this, six months after the divorce. Why I'm still thinking about her, why I'm still worried about her. Divorce was supposed to mean that if I was done, I was done. No more thinking about her, no more worrying about her. But here I am, worried sick about her and I can't seem to find _why._ I just… I just can't keep feeling like this, Robbins. Like I have to worry about her. What's wrong with me?"

Arizona sighed. 

"I know what you're going through, Jackson. It's normal for divorced couples. You loved her, but in the end it didn't work out. It happens. Doesn't mean you've stopped loving her or caring for her as a friend."

"I guess," Jackson agreed. "She was my best friend. I guess somewhere along the way we forgot that we were best friends before we were husband and wife. Should've gone back to that."

"So what are you going to do?" the blonde asked.

"I don't really know, Arizona, that's why I'm asking you. Why do I still feel like I need to worry about her?" 

Her face softened. "I don't know, Jackson. Do you still love her?" 

Jackson stopped a moment to think about what she'd just said. "I don't think so… I mean, I thought I didn't… I don't know. I tried my best not to want her anymore. Not to need her the way she didn't need me. I needed her to heal, but she broke my heart. She left. I tried to be a good husband, but it feels like it was all about her and not me. I thought marriages were supposed to be equal parts, about the both of us, not just her." 

"She screwed up, Avery. Everyone makes mistakes."

He shrugged. "I know. I just… Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have bailed so quickly the way I did. Like maybe we could've made it. I don't know."

The blonde's tone slightly shifted. "Are you saying the divorce was a mistake?"

He staggered. "I… I don't… No. Maybe."

Arizona sighed. "Jackson, I say this with the truest intentions, but you have to figure your crap out. It's not fair to April to say the divorce was a mistake when she held out for as long as possible, holding on to the tiniest glimmer of hope and faith that your marriage could survive. It's not fair to her when she's been out there for six months, risking her life and fighting to survive because she thought you didn't love her, or want her, or need her anymore. That she didn't have a reason to stay."

Jackson closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know, Arizona, I just… I just wish I could talk to her, you know?" 

The blonde nodded. "I get it, Avery. But I don't think she's in any condition or mood to talk to you, or even see you for that matter. Especially not if you end up telling her that you think your divorce was a mistake. If you did, she'd probably come back just to shove your foot up your ass."

He frowned. "But what am I supposed to do? I… I can't stand the thought of her being out there in danger like that."

"I don't know Avery, this was her decision. She seemed fixed on staying in Syria," she frowned. Jackson let out a sigh. "So what do I do?"

"You just go on and do you. Don't worry about her, because she's not for you to worry about anymore. Honest advice Jackson? Just live your life. She's living hers. You two are divorced. There's nothing else you can really do." Arizona sadly smiled, thinking about her broken marriage with Callie. She walked away to continue tending to the tiny little humans sleeping soundly in their incubators. 

Jackson heavily sighed, leaving the NICU contemplating Arizona's last words: _you two are divorced… There's nothing else you can really do._  

The reality hit him harder than it's ever been before. 

There really wasn't a single thing he could do.

An hour later, he arrived at the apartment, tossing his keys into the bowl and headed toward the couch. He flicked the TV on, flipping through the channels. Despite being exhausted, he needed something to consume his mind other than work and April.

 

* * *

 

The doorbell rang.

He got off the couch, turning the TV off. He'd been watching the Red Sox game he'd recorded, but they weren't doing good anyway.

Jackson reached for the knob. As soon as he opened the door and saw his visitors, everything went numb. His vision became blurry, his hearing muffled. His chest tightened, and he couldn't breathe.

Two men dressed in the US Army Service Uniform were at the door. 

"No," he whimpered, shaking his head. Tears were threatening to fall. 

"Mr. Avery, we regret to inform you that Captain April Kepner has been killed in the line of duty…" 

His hearing went all fuzzy as his brain was scrambling to make sense of what was happening. 

 _April. Killed. Line of duty._  

This couldn't be happening. 

"...We understand you and Captain Kepner are divorced, but she still has you listed as her next of kin..."

"No, no, no," Jackson refused to believe what they were saying was true.

"We're truly sorry, Mr. Avery."

They proceeded to hand him a letter, dog tags, and a flag. 

The flag. 

April's flag. 

Neatly folded. 

The reality sank in.

She really wasn't coming home.

He watched as the soldiers walked away from the door. Jackson fell to his knees, crying.

_She's dead._

 

* * *

 

He suddenly jolted awake from the terrible nightmare, falling off the couch. He felt tears streaming down his face, but quickly wiped them away. He looked around for his phone, using the screen as a light.

Jackson saw that he was still wearing his scrubs from yesterday. He checked the time on his phone.

_2:00AM_

He let out a sigh of relief. It was just a horrible nightmare. Given, it was probably the most realistic, vivid nightmare he's ever had, but was thankful it was just that and nothing more.

However, his worst fear had just presented itself in one of the most awful ways. Everything came down on him at once. The pain-striking reality hit him, and his chest tightened to the realization that he'd left too many things unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High five to whoever can guess the movie the April/Riggs scene was inspired from. 
> 
> Anyway, I had a difficult time writing this. Jackson is such a complex character and I really don't understand him at times, so this chapter may actually seem really OOC but again, this is for the narrative and not because I think this is what he's really thinking or feeling in the canon universe. Same goes for April. I just wanted to write something that focused on them as divorced individuals, their relationship & marital faults/failures, and a kickass Army!April. That's all.
> 
> Again, thanks for reading and leaving comments. You guys are rad. I know Grey's isn't as popular on AO3, and I don't even know if people are still into reading Grey's fics, let alone Japril fics because of what happened to them this season. But I like to think of this story as the "little engine that could." and I have hope for April & Jackson. Until then, I shall live their post-divorce relationship mess vicariously through this story and my twisted imagination ha


	6. Even Superwoman Falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Syria, something happens to April & Nathan's team while out on a medical mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally updated this bad boy of a story after like 235 years. My bad guys - I've been incredibly busy. The timeline is still the same, despite it being so long ago now (I can only apologize.) Thanks for sticking around guys.

**ALEPPO, SYRIA 1700 HOURS**  

 **30 AUGUST 2016**  

 

A sharp pain shot through her side, causing a mild cough to erupt from her lungs. Her ears were ringing, and everything seemed to be spinning out of control. Her head was pounding, and the overwhelming sensation of vertigo overcame her. 

She slowly opened her eyes, only for her to see things out of focus. She squinted her eyes, trying to refocus her vision. A dark red substance blurred her vision, causing her eyelid to remain shut. April slowly brought her hand to her face, wiping above her eye. 

Surely enough, a small amount of blood oozed from a gash above her right eyebrow. 

As she regained her senses, April took another look around at her surrounding. A thin cloud of smoke consumed the vehicle she was still in, but she could still see from the windows that a gunfight was going on in the distance. Smoke was coming out from the hood of the Humvee, and bullets were flying everywhere. She had to take caution to avoid getting shot. The redhead reached for the door, fumbling along the handle to unlock it.  

An audible click rang, and she fell out the door onto the ground, crawling into immediate cover. Off in the distance she could see American soldiers fighting off insurgent gunfire, holding down their position from their downed vehicles. She forced herself off the ground despite bullets flying in her direction, and stumbled her way to the vehicle up ahead that had rolled upside down into a ditch. 

 _Oh, God._  

April saw two of her friends trapped inside. Australian Army cardiothoracic surgeon Major Barbara "Bobbie" Smith and Commanding field medical officer Lieutenant-Colonel Jonathan Morgan were hanging on, trapped in the back. In the front were two American soldiers, the driver and a passenger. The redhead couldn't assess their status until she could get a closer look.  

She needed to get in there and help. 

April ran to the closest doors, tugging away at both handles. Both doors were jammed, leaving her with the only option of getting in from the other side of the Humvee… Which would also leave her and everyone inside vulnerable to insurgent gunfire.  

"Damn it," she mumbled under her breath. 

She crawled over next to Major Smith, who was slowly regaining consciousness. "Bobbie, stay put, I'm coming to get you. Don't move, I don't know what kind of injuries you have." 

"Aye, Kepner, I'm fine. I'm good, just a sore leg. You're hurt too, what happened?" the woman responded.  

"Smith, I'm fine. Maybe some broken ribs, I don't know. But what I do know, is I need to get you out before this thing explodes." 

"Careful, Major. That could be the adrenaline talking," the Aussie cautioned. 

April let out a sigh. "I'm good, really. But I'm about to do something stupid to get you guys out, are you able to cover me?" 

"Good Lord, Kepner, what's going on?" 

"Insurgent gunfire. Our guys are fighting back to hold our convoy's position until backup arrives. I can't get you guys out unless I go through Morgan's door, which is completely exposed. I need you to cover me while I get Morgan out, and when I come back for our guys in the front." 

"April, are you sure?" 

"I'm sure." 

"Okay. I'll do what I can." 

"Moving on three. One, two, three." 

April darted to the other side, quickly pulling the handle of the door. Sure enough, she managed to get it opened. Since it was Lieutenant-Colonel Morgan's door, she worked to cut him loose and out of the vehicle. He was unconscious, and seemed to be bleeding from a wound in his neck, something she didn't see before. She immediately placed her hand on his neck to stem the bleeding. 

"Crap, Bobbie, he's bleeding. He's been shot in the neck. Doesn't appear to have nicked the artery, but he's still losing blood. I need to get him out of here now, are you able to move him from the inside? Are you good to move?" 

"I'm good, Kepner, let's do this." 

April nodded, using everything she had to pull him out. He was heavy, but then again, a man at six-four and two hundred pounds versus her own five-four and one hundred twenty pound frame sounded like a stretch. 

But she needed to get him out. She couldn't let him die. 

Using all her strength and might, she heaved the man out of the vehicle. Every fiber and muscle of her being screamed and ached in pain, but pushed through, dragging him to a safe distance from the hummer. 

April let out a groan, catching her breath. She couldn't believe she just did that. The redhead looked over at her unconscious superior, thankful she'd managed to get him out. She removed her jacket, gently tying it around Morgan's neck to stem the bleeding. As she finished, she saw Major Smith crawling out of the Humvee, and ran back to her, helping her off the ground. 

"Kepner, my leg. I can't walk." 

April lifted her off the ground, slipping under the woman's arm, using her weight to support her. "I've got you. Let's move."  

As they moved over to Lieutenant Colonel Morgan's position, April helped her friend onto the ground where he was.  

The redhead glanced back over at the Humvee. There were two more soldiers in there. It was looking worse for wear, and the fire was spreading quickly. She needed to go back and get them. 

"Just keep pressure on his neck, Smith, you're gonna be fine. I need to go back!" April ordered. 

"No, Kepner, stop!" the Aussie shouted as she ran off toward the vehicle. 

Then a loud explosion erupted; the vehicle had burst into flames.   
  


* * *

 

 

 _"Kepner!"_  

April glanced up, seeing Nathan's face.  

 _Oh, thank God._  

He began talking, but no sound came from his mouth. Her ears were ringing, and she felt completely disoriented. Her body movement and reaction time was sluggish; all she could do was stupidly stare at him. 

Riggs seemed to be fine. Just a couple of bruises and cuts on his face, but all things considered, he was okay. 

Nathan dragged her away from the explosion site, laying her on her back. A searing sensation of pain ripped through the right side of her abdomen, and little black dots clouded her vision.  

All she could see was Riggs mouthing the words,  _"Sorry,"_  and  _"You're gonna be just fine"_  

Her head was pounding. It happened so fast. She was just about to run back and save the two soldiers still trapped in the hummer, and the next thing she knew, the damn rig exploded and she was flying backwards.  

April watched as he began removing her helmet and vest. As he pulled her arm through the hole of the vest, a sharp pain shot through her side causing her breath to hitch in the middle of her throat. 

God, her side was killing her.  

It was getting harder and harder to breathe, and she could faintly hear Nathan saying  _"April, you've got a concussion and multiple broken ribs. But on the bright side, you've got no GSW's and you saved two lives today. Good job, soldier."_  

She wanted to say something but the brunette doctor immediately stopped her _. "April, don't speak. Just breathe."_  

She ignored him. "Can't… Breathe" she coughed.  

A dark red substance began gushing from the corner of her mouth, down her cheek. Riggs' eyes widened, causing him to further examine her body for anything he'd missed. He lifted her shirt, and surely enough, a nasty bruise covered the entire right side of April's torso. 

"Shit, Keps, you've got internal bleeding! Your lung's filling up with blood,"  

He took a moment to contemplate his next move. The medical supplies were in the other hummer, which was destroyed from the explosion. She needed a chest tube for her collapsed lung, but there was nothing on hand for him to use. 

He looked at his friend, struggling to breathe. He needed to do something about her breathing. 

"Riggs…" she gurgled. 

He shook his head, gesturing her to just stay still. "April, please, save your strength. I'm gonna fix this okay? I always do." 

Listening to her insistent wheezing suddenly gave him an idea. 

Nathan felt over each and every one of his pockets for a pen. His fingers brushed over one in his left vest pocket, and he immediately pulled it out, taking it apart.  

Trying to keep her awake, he continued talking to her. "Okay, I've got an idea. Hang tight." 

She slowly nodded. 

"Keps, I'm gonna use this pen as a chest tube. I'll drain the blood in your lung and relieve the pressure, get your breathing goin' again. But it's gonna hurt like hell," 

April nodded. "Just do it," she wheezed. Nathan nodded, pulling the combat knife from his vest. There was nothing to sanitize the blade with, so he just went for it.  

She felt the cold blade slice through her flesh. The pain was unbelievable. 

"Almost there Keps, you're doing great." 

He wiped her blood on his uniform, putting the blade back into its sheath. With his other hand, he began inserting the pen tube between her ribs. This caused a violent cough to erupt, but she immediately felt the pressure in her lungs decrease.  

Blood began gushing out of the tube. 

"Crap, Keps, you're losing a lot of blood. Just stay with me, okay? Look, the medivac is here! You're gonna be okay. April? Keep your eyes open! Stay with me!" 

She nodded, slowly losing consciousness. 

 

* * *

 

 **GREY-SLOAN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL, 0800 HOURS**    
 

Jackson roamed through the hallway on the way to his next consult, but a voice caught his attention. He heard Hunt talking over the phone with someone.  He sounded worried, distressed.  

The plastic surgeon stayed out of sight, eavesdropping over the conversation through the open door. 

 _"She what?! Jesus! What is she suffering from? Broken ribs, concussion, internal bleeding. You what? Used a pen as a chest tube? Good God. What else? Coughing up blood? What's her status right now? Okay, good. How many days? Good. Okay. Well you keep an eye on her then. And Riggs, good job. Saved her life. You stay close to her and protect her."_  

Hunt hung up the phone, and Jackson quickly moved away so that the trauma surgeon wouldn't see him. 

His heart was beating at an exceedingly rapid rate. They were talking about her. April. Who else would it be? 

 _Broken ribs. Internal bleeding. Pen as a chest tube. Coughing up blood._  

His worst fear had come to light. The nightmare he had just a couple nights ago seemed all too real now. Sure, she's okay now, but what if Riggs hadn't been fast enough? What if they hadn't gotten her to the hospital in time?  

The reality of the situation was overwhelming. Jackson's heart was pounding, and his head suddenly began to ache. He darted toward the staff room. He needed to sit down. 

Jackson pulled a chair from the table, sitting down. He propped his elbows on top of the table, cupping his face in his hands. His breathing was rapid. 

Ben walked in on the plastic surgeon sitting at the table. "Dude, you okay?" 

Jackson quietly responded. "Yeah, Warren, I'm fine." 

The surgical resident shot back. "Right, cause to me it looks like you're having a bit of a panic attack." 

"What? No, I'm just exhausted," he shot back. 

Ben pulled up a chair next to his friend. "You and I both know that's a load of crap. What's going on? Is it Kepner?" 

Jackson just nodded. 

"What happened?" 

He sighed. "I don't know, dude. I was just making my way to my next consult when I overheard Hunt talking to Riggs over the phone. I'm not a hundred percent sure, but it sounded like they were talking about April…" 

Ben's eyes widened. He knew what kind of crap happened over there. "Is she okay? What happened?" 

Jackson shrugged. "Apparently something happened over there, man. I don't know what, but all I know is that they were caught in some kind of explosion, had no supplies and had to improvise. She had broken ribs and internal bleeding and was coughing up blood,"  

"Jesus," Ben exclaimed.  

"They say she'll be fine though. I don't know… It's just. Scary, I guess. Not exactly something you wanna hear this early in the morning," he admitted. 

Ben frowned, nodding in agreement. 


End file.
